These two are at loggerheads since Rakhi filed a police complaint against Mika for allegedly forcibly kissing her on the lips at his birthday bash. Mika though, claims that he has buried the hatchet with item girl Rakhi Sawant. Mika is also not very keen to work with Rakhi ever in the future. Asked if there is a good script involving Rakhi, Mika said: “How can a script or a concept be good if there is Rakhi in it?”. With Mitthi Mika is going to Debut as an actor early next year. Mika also claims that he was offered many roles earlier but he was waiting for the right script. Mika is also very enthusiastic about Vishal Bhardwaj’s “Ishquia”, where he has sung a song written by Gulzar. He says it was indeed very special for him and a great experience to work with Vishal Bhardwaj and Gulzar.

Audiences are waiting with deep breath to see the golden jodi of Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol to ablaze the silver screen again. Their much awaited flick, ‘My Name Is Khan’ is slated to release and the first look of the film has been unveiled in a grand way at Mumbai’s J W Marriott on Thursday.

Kajol and Shah Rukh graced the event in a black saree n a black suit respectively. In the film, Shah Rukh Khan plays the character of Rizwan Khan who suffers from aspergers syndrome. The movie is based on 9/11 terror attacks.

“It is very different from other KJO films” said Shah Rukh. Speaking about working with SRK, Kajol said, “Shah Rukh is like a bad habit. Once you work with him you are spoilt”.

Karan said that working with Shah Rukh is like a family affair. “It’s like working with family. Two brothers start a company, two brothers build it up and maintain their family and working unit together,” says Johar.

Miss Universe Lara Dutta has really worked hard to get that perfect bikini figure. For those who enjoyed Lara Dutta’s bikini shot in Blue, here’s a lavish treat for them again. She’s all set to put the silver screen on fire with her bikini act after the underwater action in Blue. She is now shaping up to slip into the two-piece bikini once again in director Sajid Khan’s film “Housefull”.

Lara claims that her bikini scene is apt for the movie as she needs to dive into the ocean.

Well Lara you really took a lot of effort for the perfect figure in the movie Blue, so might as well get your efforts recognized in couple of other movies too!

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Ram Gopal Verma probably feels like Ranning away after the huge controversy that’s been surging ever since that National Anthem remix (or whatever you’d like to call it) has been largely popularized over digital media. The censor board has decided to ban it because it violates some laws of the Indian Constitution. The lyrics are quite hard hitting, keeping in mind the nature of India today- the politicians, the poverty, riots, murders and so forth, a part of our beloved country. Even though it has lines from our national anthem, Ramu says its just inspired from what the national anthem stands for.

I’ve heard the song and I think its something every Indian can relate to. It might be an extension of the national anthem which was written by Rabindranath Tagore ages ago, but that’s exactly the point. It was written ages ago and now things are different. So what if Ramu decided to tell the truth? We’re a democracy after all, aren’t we?

For those of you who haven’t heard the song or read the lyrics, here goes:

Jana Gann Mann Rann Hai Lyrics
———————————-
Jana gann mana rann hai
Is rann me zakhmi hua hai bhaarat ka bhaagya vidhaata
Punjab sindh gujrat maratha
Ek doosre se ladd ke mar rahe hain
Is desh ne humko ek kiya
Hum desh ke tukdey kar rahe hain
Dravid utkal banga
Khoon bahaa ker, ek rang ka kar diya humne tiranga
Sarhadon pe jung aur
Galiyon me fasaad danga
Vindh himachal yamuna ganga
Me tezaab ubal raha hai
Mar gaya sab ka zameer
Jaane kab zinda ho aagey
Phir bhi tava shubh naame jaage
Tava shubh aashish maange
Aag me jal kar cheekh raha hai
Phir bhi koi nahi sach ko bachaata
Gaahe tava jaya gaatha
Desh ka aisa haal hai lekin
Aapas me ladd rahe neta
Jana gann mangal daayak jaya hai
Bhaarat ko bacha le vidhaata!!!
Jaya hai – ya yeh – marann hai
Jana – gann – mana – rann hai

Vinay Pathak delivers another outstanding performance as Pinu Patel in Straight- Pinu Patel ki tedhi medhi love story.

Pinu Patel the lead character of the film is a thoroughly nice guy, a perfect gentleman. He is smart, sophisticated and successful, sounds great right? Well it almost is, except for the small glitch that Pinu has had very little luck with the ladies. The adorable, shy Pinu is not very successful with the matters of the heart. Despite trying everything, Pinu is still a virgin.

The lonely Pinu in order to get a companion goes to India to get married, unfortunately his string of bad luck with the women continues and he gets dumped at the alter. A disappointed and sad Pinu returns to London, he is too embarrassed to admit to his colleagues and friends that he is not married. Pinu continues to hide the truth, except suddenly out of nowhere two wonderful people enter his life and change it for ever.

Pinu rescues Renu, a cartoonist living in London from a bunch of goons. Kamlesh a fantastic chef and an aspiring standup comedian lands at Pinu’s restaurant looking for a job. Fate brings Kamlesh and Renu at Pinu’s doorstep on the same day. Both land a job at the restaurant and warm friendship develops between the three.

Pinu is glad to have Renu and Kamlesh in his life; he is attracted to Renu and cherishes his friendship with Kamlesh immensely. Everything is going along nicely until one day an incident happens that leaves Pinu confused. Suddenly he begins to wonder if he is gay or straight, he likes Renu, but he also likes Kamlesh! What follows is Pinu’s hilarious quest for love amongst all the confusion! I’m sure many of us are as confused just like him. Its something we all can relate to.

If you liked Vinay Pathak in Bheja Fry, you’ll love him in this, Gul Panag is very pretty and does a good job playing Renu. New comer Anuj Chaudhary is adorable and charming as Kamlesh. Pinu Patel’s Tedhi Medhi love story will leave you in splits and is worth a watch!

Rating:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not really, but my name sure has some significance. My dad was a mathematician who was amazed by ‘pi’ and my mother was a physicist who specialized in studying frequency of waves which were measured in ‘nu’…..That’s how I was named PINU!!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When I got stood up last weekend.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No it’s worse than a doctor’s.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I’m vegetarian

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No, not yet, but I would very much like to someday.

6. YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Umm… never really thought about it. Since I have such few friends I hope I would want to be friends with me since I understand how terribly lonely it can get.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No never

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes I do.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No never, I am afraid of heights.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Corn flakes.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes always. That’s why my shoes last forever.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla, when I feel a little adventurous I add a little strawberry or chocolate sauce to it.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their smile and their eyes, nothing is more mesmerizing than a woman whose smile adds a twinkle to her eye.

15. RED OR PINK? Red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My tongue. It always gets tied up in a knot when I am talking to women.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My Parents

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Yes, I would like to know more about others.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black trousers and black shoes, I am quite conventional in my dressing.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Kishore Kumar- Ek ladki bheegi bhagi si

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Black, it’s classic and universal.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Frying, spluttering pakodas.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My Kaki.

25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Not really she’s just some girl who keeps tagging me in her notes.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Cricket.

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark Brown

28. EYE COLOR? Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes sometimes

30. FAVORITE FOODS? Mutter Paneer.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings, especially since I am still earnestly looking for mine.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Slumdog Millionaire

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Off White

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs.

37. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP? It’s a ‘World’s Best Boss’ mug that my employee’s gifted me.

38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)? I’m not really into art

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Shantaram

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? It’s just black with an arm rest

41. What did you watch on TV last night? Jeopardy

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Birds chirping

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLE? The Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? America

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? No not really

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Delhi

47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY? My birthstone ring.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Haven’t met the one yet.

49. WHAT IS YOUR QUEST? To make Gaylord’s the best Indian restaurant in London.

50. WHAT IS THE AIR SPEED VELOCITY OF A BINLADEN SWALLOW? Bin Laden should die.

Jerry Seinfeld is in fact one of my favourite stand-up comedians of all times! I was sitting back last night in my beanbag chair at home watching television as I had nothing better to do at night and was watching that famous sitcom ‘Seinfeld’ on DVD. The series has these little snippets of his comedy acts which are just hilarious!

I think his specialty is giving a take on certain nuances in conversation or situations that take place in daily life! There was this particular piece on the word ‘take care’, which was damn funny by the way, which made realize what he said was actually true! These two words have a very kind intent and a good gesture, but have become a mechanical part of our lives. According to Jerry, it actually means ‘take off’ as in ‘get going already!’

Life is Interesting…..

Here’s the video

UV lights, and a strange atmosphere around…How come I don’t see any women……

My cousin and dear friend Rajat was performing last night at this place called ‘Corks’ on Oxford Street. As I mentioned in my last post, I never miss Rajat’s performances and I was there, yet again!

I hardly venture out of the vicinity of my home sweet home and sort of ‘make friends’. Going for Rajat’s performances is always an experience as I meet a lot of different people from various backgrounds, this is indeed refreshing, due to my line of work and because of the amount of time it consumes, I mostly only interact with people that are related to food industry in some way. It is always fun and exciting to meet people on a more casual, social scenario and make a connection with them.

I was quietly perched on the ‘not so comfortable’ bar stool and was enjoying one of Rajat’s songs, when David approached me. David is an aspiring chef who infact has a passion for Indian cuisine! Normally I am always a little weary telling people that I own a restaurant, but this time around the conversation was so engrossing and interesting that it just slipped out, we spent the entire time engaged in a passionate discussion about cuisines from around the globe and I was so absorbed in my chit-chat that I totally forgot to applaud Rajat! David was fair and was well built. He spoke with a British accent and was very friendly. I told him all about my restaurant and how it was always my dream to run the best Indian food joint in London. David and I exchanged numbers before Rajat and I left.

While driving back home, Rajat told me that it was a Gay bar that we were at…..sweat trickled down my face as I wished for that statement to not be true. I dropped Rajat home and just waited in the car thinking about David.

I know I’m straight…but I’m still thinking about David….I would love to meet him soon…is that so wrong?

I happened to chance upon a back issue of the Guardian and was shocked to see that Sharat Sardana had passed away. He was only 40 and an extremely witty writer. I absolutely loved Goodness Gracious me and Kumars at no. 42. Humor never came easy to me. I’ve always struggled to tell a joke, more often than not I mess up the punch line. I’m no good at making fun of myself either. I watch other people do it all the time. It seems entertaining and those listening are always in peals of laughter.

I’ve only seen one stand up comedian in my entire life and his name was Papa CJ. It was a slow Saturday night so I left the restaurant for a bit and headed to Corks which is this comedy club bang opposite Bond Street station. That night was stand-up comedian night. So we were all entertained by Papa CJ. I kept thinking to myself ‘Thank God I don’t have the dorkiest name.’ I also wondered how many kids this Papa CJ had.

Anyway onto his set. All he did was make obvious jokes about the Indian accent and our weird sounding names. I could do that. It didn’t seem so difficult but the next day when I tried to retell some of Papa’s joke I could barely recite a single one. Guess I was born without the funny bone.

1. My extended family immigrated from India in the 1920s and settled all over the world including Nairobi, Amsterdam, Kuala Lumpur and finally London!

2. I was born in India, however moved to UK when I was three years old with my uncle and aunt after my parents died in a plane crash!

3. My passion is food, i worked as a chef for several years before starting my own restaurant!

4. As my aunt puts it, My dad was a mathematician who was amazed by ‘pi’ and my mother was a physicist who specialized in studying frequency of waves which were measured in ‘nu’…..That’s how I was named PINU!!

5. I’m very shy and introverted and find it very difficult to express my interest and affection towards woman, eve those I’m attracted to!!

6. Although i have lived in London most of my life, i haven’t seen much as i always secretly fantansized about visiting sites with my true love!

7.Although I have had a few intimate encounters with women, I am still inexperienced!

8. My closest friend is my cousin Rajat, who is my confidante.

9. One day I rescued a beautiful woman from the grasp of some thugs on the tube but later couldnt muster the courage to ask her name!

10.Although Chicken Tikka Masala is the house speciality of my restaurant and we are profiecient in cooking non-veg food, I am a vegetarian!

11. Pretty Woman is my favourite film of all times!

12.My aunt has been trying to set me up with good Gujarati girls for a very long time, but I’ve always been a bit reluctant, as I’ve been busy with my career.

13. I’m a connoisseur of wine…and I can never resist a glass of red wine!

14. I hate Beer….now don’t judge me on that!

15. I’m old fashioned in mroe ways that one even though I grew up in London.

16. I’m stubborn and conventional and usually resist charge.

17. My favourite music is soft rock and old bollywood classics!

18. Every week I go to see my cousin Rajat perform at various venues across London…btw he has a band!!

20. I was an overweight child which made me a laughing stock in school!

21.After my parents died, my uncle aunt raised me like their own son…and today I consider them my parents.

22.Sometimes I get extremely disgusted and cynical or the western views of dating and wish to go to India and marry a good Indian girl!

23. My favourite meal is Dhokla and chilled Coke!

24. My aunt has created serveral profiles for me on various matrimonial sites in hopes of getting me a bride…I’m quite embarrased about it but can’t go against her wishes.

25. I refuse to live without love!!

The question is not whether there is life after death, but whether I’ll still get a Mc Donald’s burger when I get to the other side. The journey there could work up quite a hunger.

Hunger, that’s one thing that consumes my senses in their entirety. The lust for food makes me delirious, until I get some. That’s another thing I don’t get ’some’, just like that tabooed four letter word meaning intercourse - talk.

I find it hard to converse about normal everyday things with complete strangers. It’s intellectually insulting to constantly state the obvious in a bid to be more sociable. “Isn’t it hot today?” Well with the sun shining, it will be pretty damn hard to feel cold. Cold. They are the kind of people I get.

Public displays of affection make me cringe, which is why I don’t get some’, just like that four-letter word eaning defecation. I am surprised Oxford dictionary carries all its variation, just like that of the previously mentioned four-letter word. But it doesn’t bother me because ‘I don’t give a crap’.

Constipation it’s a wonderful thing. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to concentrate on that one thing, hard enough and long enough till you finally get it.

Concentration for me, that’s a bit of a problem. Anterograde Amnesia, I forget what it means. I forget quite often. I jump from one topic to another quite often and I choose to believe otherwise quite often. I choose to believe in people and don’t mind getting disappointed again and again. I choose to believe and that is my hell. My hell is a place where I know there are no monochromatic hues; it’s a place where I know deep undercurrents of reality and phantasm exist.

Where I know all is not as gleeful as it seems to be, but I still choose to stay.

I choose to stay for I believe in my hell, I shall find my heaven

As previously mentioned I am the owner of an Indian Restaurant in London. Which means I am ‘Boss man’. I often wonder would any of my staff be this nice to me if I wasn’t their employer.

I’m not saying that they kiss ass, but they are all extremely friendly. Now even this friendship confuses me. Is it just for formality sake that they all invite me over to their homes or do they actually want to be friends?

Over the past decade my staff has been very supportive with my quest to find a wife. They’ve exhausted their resources. I’ve dated everyone right fom the bus boys single masi to my head waiters estranged ex-wife.

I try to be supportive to my staff and encourage them to open up to me but while everyone knows of my ttrials and errors they all seem a mystery to me. I recently sanctioned leave to one of the sous chefs. He has returned with a wife in tow. I don’t believe that he never even invited me to the wedding and everyone knows an Indian wedding is a great place to meet single women.

Where is the line between professionalism and friendship? Is it hanging out afterward for a drink maybe meeting up on days off for a game of cricket? Or is it sticking to pleasantries with the occasional invite of birthdays or festival celebrations?

Sunday night was a bust. I’ve finally warmed up enough to talk about it. My friends set me up on a blind date. Leaving my expectations at home I set out with four layers of clothes on and decided to take the tube to the restaurant my date had chosen. I followed the directions to the T when I walked out of the tube station I was a little perturbed to find Dirty Dicks on my left and Bad Ass on my right.

Now this couldn’t be right. My sweet Indian blind date couldn’t have selected such a shady sounding restopub for our first meeting. Imagine telling our kids i met their mother at Dirty Dicks. To my extreme bad luck Dirty Dicks was her choice of dining last night. She swears by their fish and chips.

Well I’d like to talk more about Sonal(that was the name of my date) but she had to leave early due to her irrational fear of hypothermia. Since the snowfall didn’t seem to be showing any signs of slowing down and she’d brought her car to the restaurant while I’d smartly left mine at home in the garage. After her hurried early exit I finished my food then hers picked up the check and then I headed to the bus stop.

I waited in the freakin’ snow for 2 hrs before the news of the bus termination got to me. By now I could have seriously developed hypothermia. Did my date care? No! I’m sure she was home tucked in her cozy duvet enjoying some hot cocoa while my nether regions froze.

Now I was left two options stand there and freeze or walk home. I figured walking would boost my circulation and heighten my chances of bearing children in the future. After a good 3 hours of ploughing through the snow I finally reached home and who should be waiting me for me on my door step other than Perry the cat in his woolies. Perry is my neighbours cat. He usually stays indoors.Talk about added insult to injury even the cat was more prepared for the blizzard than I was. And he seemed completely comfortable in his fur, hat and scarf. But the sight was so cute I forgot about my horrid night poured Perry and myself some warm milk and headed to sleepy land.

I hate female drivers. I absolutely hate them. The only thing worse is Indian female drivers. Being an Indian myself it has taken years of discipline to develop my decent driving and parking skills and you must give me props for keeping to lanes.

Today I helped this old Indian woman in a dirty beat up Camry back out of a tight parking spot and how does she repay me? By scratching my precious Carolina (that’s what I call my Mercedes.)

I didn’t even realise it at the time but the old bat’s gigantic side view mirror dug a deep gash into my Carolina on her way out. Despite my excellent directions she somehow managed to destroy my car. Did I mention it’s a black car? Every imperfection shows….I am feeling really Depressed…..!

It’s the weekend and I was hoping to go for a joy ride tonight that’s the only reason I brought Carolina out in this haze and now this. It really has put a dampener on my weekend plans. If anybody sees an old lady driving a dirty old car with black paint on the left side view mirror please notify me.

Some people call me shy…..and I am shy…
I interact with a lot of people at my restaurant…but it kinda gets monotonous after a while….So I went to this lounge the other day…..I was waiting for my good friend Rajat to arrive when I saw this extremely beautiful woman enter the lounge and was standing near the bar.

I was in total trance….I couldn’t take my eyes off her…she was just glowingly beautiful! Many thoughts crossed my mind…should I go and talk to her…may be not….may be….what if she slaps me thinking I’m a pervert….

I was wearing a black Armani……so yeah I was looking smart!

I held my ground….with a lot of courage…I went upto her….and….

She thought I was a waiter and ordered a drink….even before i could say something…

Embarrassing moment…
Sigh…..

I like to think that it didn’t happen to me, Pinu….it happened to…lets say Tinu…..
it sounds funny…and actually gives me the courage to laugh it off…and may be share it with u guys!

Cheers

Pinu