It looks like the Facebook bug is spreading quickly to the celebrity circles. Soap Queen and Menudo fan, Ekta Kapoor found an actor for her new show, Kitaani Mohabbat Hai on the social networking site. The weirdo in question is some guy called Karan Kundra.

He sent Ekta a “home video” of himself and soon enough, he got the call for an audition. What sort of home video was it anyway? Are you telling me that you actually sit in your room and record yourself pretending to be on TV?I’d be less worried if you were hacking the heads off your dolls every night.

Anyway, he’s bagged the role now and will start shooting this week. So the future looks bright for you, Karan. In case this doesn’t work out, you can always send in an entry to ‘World’s Funniest Home Videos’ and win a trip to Singapore.

Hrithik Roshan received a much-needed acting tip from his Mexican co-star, Barbara Mori, while shooting for his dad’s upcoming subway gas attack, Kites. There came a point during the shooting when Hrithik and Barbara(who play lovers in the movie) were to jump off a rooftop which was at an “impossible height“.

Just to embellish the intensity of the scene, the two were asked to kiss before taking the plunge. This is where it all went horribly wrong. Hrithik bent over, looked her up and down with a wildfire in his eyes, took her into his arms and released all his raging passion as he kissed her….on the cheek. What are you? A Smurf?? What kind of guy kisses his lover on the cheek before jumping off a f**cking house?

So it comes as no surprise that Barbara Mori told him to drop his Archie‘s Card lifestyle for one second and kiss her like he’d kiss his wife. This is where Hrithik got with the program and planted one on her lips. He claims to be much more confident expressing his love for anything now. Look out Suzanne, if everything goes according to plan he might just yawn and slip his arms around you at the theatre tonight!!

After assaulting our senses with his passion fruit of a performance in Rock On!!, Farhan Akhtar has decided to go head first into the acting world. He’s postponed his next directorial venture, Voice From The Sky to make way for some sort of psychological thriller being handled by newcomer Vijay Lalvani.

He claims that it was the role he was offered that swayed the 1923 wind-vane he uses to make his decisions for him. This brings me to my main query. Why the hell would anyone want to cast Farhan Akhtar in their movie? Have you seen Rock On!! Mr.Lalvani? He’s managed a grand total of two highly questionable expressions in the movie; ’somewhat happy and brooding’ and ‘not so happy’. You might as well cast a partially damaged pack of smiley fries. To make matters worse, Farhan will also be producing this one; which only means one thing. Farhan Akhtar is directing it. So we know what to expect now.

Psycho has two really good friends who kill together and visit hookers the rest of the night. Somebody says something about the meaning of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” pissing off the misunderstood sensitive psycho of the group. Ego’s clash, the groups breaks up and this cow of a script is milked for two hours before the psychos kiss and make up, finally realizing that there can only be one interpretation for that song. Gripping stuff.

After numerous brain numbing attempts to create something that doesn’t find it’s way to the ‘VCD’s that you get free with your new TV’ bin, Ram Gopal Varma has decided to switch genres. He’s going to step out of his horror/crime mould for once and make a movie about media. During the course of the two hour stomach pumping that this promises to be, he wants to capture the effect of television on the layman.

He claims that the television with its million channels and fancy remotes gets under an unsuspecting watcher’s skin and toys with their psyche. And it’s going to be none other than Grandaddy Cool, Amitabh Bachchan who plays the founder of a news channel in the movie. With this sort of combination, I’m afraid to think about what sort of effect it’ll have on the poor audience. It’ll just give them another reason to watch Bigg Boss more often; if that’s possible.

To make matters worse, there’s no item girl in the picture. If it all comes together as Ramu sees it, this one is promising to be as dangerous as a full length Glenn Medeiros album.

It looks like the Ghajini crew are giving audiences another reason to flock to the theatres this December. Not only will they get to see Buffy over here prance around but also a song in which he sports not one, not two but six different looks!!

This terrifying medley will unfold in a sequence in which Aamir is trying to woo Asin and prove yet again that no matter what the script may be,the Bollywood mantra of emasculating seemingly intense characters with inappropriate dancing must be french-kissed along the way. Aamir was not sure whether he would be able to pull off the six looks, but the envelope-pusher that he is, went ahead with it anyway.

And for some unholy reason, this move is being celebrated by the crew like Jack Nicholson cooked them pasta on the sets. Ahmed Khan claims that it was very difficult for Aamir to wear things like low neck tees and low waist jeans and that’s why the song is so special. Right, sitting in that vanity van through makeover after makeover really brings out the rainbow of acting experience you have doesn’t it Buffy?

Pakistani actress Meera, seems to be having a tough time surviving the Bombay lifestyle. Couple of nights ago, she landed up at Mahesh Bhatt’s Juhu den seeking refuge from some “guy who was troubling (her)”.

Mr. Bhatt, who she thought would be her knight in shining armour proved soon enough that he was more the “what the f**k do you think you’re doing at my house at 1:30 in the morning” sort of guy. He went on to call her dad in Pakistan and informed him about his daughter’s freaky nomadic habits. And so, after taking a piss on chivalry’s carcass, Mr.Bhatt called producer, Sevy Ali to clean up the mess. When asked about this whole situation, Sevy claimed that Meera  was “very dazed and not in her senses” Right, and you two jocks turned away a delirious actress who landed up at your house in the middle of the night looking for help. Coz that’s how you homies roll? Don’t need no more booty calls?

As for you Meera, for f**k’s sake, if you have to go somewhere for help, try not picking Bollywood’s yesterday’s somebodies. Guys trouble girls all the time, you might as well move in with Mahesh Bhatt if that’s how you’re going to deal with it.

Rakhi Sawant was offered 10 lakhs to shake a leg in the Bigg Boss 2 finale and spend the day at the Bigg Boss house with it’s current  inhabitants Raja Chaudhary, Zulfi Sayed and Ashutosh.

Rakhi who is usually fearless and outspoken is scared to spend a day in the house with the three inmates. After initially agreeing to the idea, she has now backed out of it. I have no idea what could possibly have caused this “fear”. She has however, agreed to dance at the finale and for everyone disappointed by her lack of professionalism she palns on wearing a bikini while rocking out.

Now this I can’t miss.

During their recent visit to the island of Bora Bora, Hrithik Roshan and his wife, Suzanne, daredevils that they are, claim to have swum with six foot long sharks! And not only once, but twice! The first time was just out of curiosity and the second time was dedicated to taking pictures of the sharks for their son Hrehaan. That’s what they would like us to believe.

You’re telling me Singh Is Kinng had nothing to do with it? Ever since that movie’s come out, all you monkeys have started jumping at every banana of an action routine that’s thrown your way like it’s part and parcel of your ‘in your face’ lifestyle. You have Imraan Khan jumping off buildings, SRK signing action movies and of course, Vivek Oberoi, claiming to do his own stunts.

And for what? You’re not convincing anybody. I’d give you an SAG Award if you can sleep with all the lights off, forget doing your own stunts. So if you’re done proving that ‘ I could be Akshay Kumar if I wanted…I just don’t want to right now’  to your wives and girlfriends, get on with the program and play to your strengths, however miserable they might be.

The obscene ripples sent out when  two of the industry’s biggest dimwits, Shah Rukh and Salman Khan, collided one pointless night still seem to be affecting Sallu. He’s decided to stop doing cameos in his friends movies from here on; all because SRK didn’t do one in Sohail Khan’s Main Aur Mrs Khanna.

Sallu claims that he didn’t make a fuss when Shah Rukh Khan asked him to make a special appearance in Om Shanti Om and that it’s only fair that SRK returns the favour. And so, once again, its up to us to remind Sallu the principles that govern professional commitments isn’t the same as sharing your tiffin in the third standard. You can throw all the hissy fits you want; its not going to make Shah Rukh sign your brother’s stupid movie.

What kind of dumass agrees to do a movie being handled by Sohail Khan, Bollywood’s poster boy for untreated cerebral palsy anyway? You’d be lucky to sign a heavily sedated Adhyayan Suman for Sohail’s artistic interpretation of wanting a sandwich.

One More Thought, the production company is literally stuck on a promotional thought. Remember the 5 lakh prize money for watching Phoonk alone in an empty theatre without getting scared? No one actually won that money, but One More Thought are sort of making it a promotional activity for all their releases.

Their latest production Khallballi features the best of Indian comedians and will definitely have you in splits. They are so sure about this that they are willing to pay anyone who manages to keep a straight face throughout the movie, a whooping Rs. 10 lakh.

Azam Khan, the managing director of the house says since no one won the 5 lakhs for watching Phoonk, that prize money has been carried forward to Khallballi’s contest. Let’s see if this one is actuall awarded to some straight-faced sucker.

It looks like Aamir Khan is turning more than teenage girls’ heads with his new look for Ghajini. The year and a half of precious life that he’s spent working out has resulted in a physique that has caught the attention of none other than star cricketer Sachin Tendulkar!

The two have been friends ever since Aamir attended a couple of cricket matches and finally found someone he can talk to without craning his neck up. Sachin was so amazed by the Ghajini posters that he called Aamir and told him that it was too good to be true!! He thought it was digitally enhanced and went on to add that he’d only believe it if he saw it in person.

Aamir, like every other buffed up 40 plus celebrity jumped at the chance to take off his shirt for anyone who asks and promised to do so when he gets back to Mumbai. From the looks of things, Sachin may well be the next celeb to hit to gym and pound iron like a homosexual in denial till he too swells to double his original size.

When Anurag Kashyap released No Smoking, it became very clear to the world that abstract cinema in this country was not exactly grabbing our attention by the balls. The only thing remotely surreal or abstract about that movie was the yellow filter he sold to the confused audience. The rest was unforgivable.

And now, he’s making a modern version of Devdas which he calls Dev.D! He claims it’ll be dark and abstract! Here’s a thought. Why the f**k don’t you write your own script for once in your world movie watching, Kurosawa-worshipping, FabIndia-promoting life? Why do you have to make these stupid adaptations every time you have a boner for experimental cinema? To make matters worse, the movie poster has been lifted from the last Prodigy album ‘Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned’.

So it comes as no surprise that Ronnie Screwwala lost faith in this cocktail of high school influences and asked Sudhir Mishra to step in and make sure it doesn’t bomb at the Box Office.

Item girl Rakhi Sawant and her boyfriend Abhishek Awasthi, have finally parted ways. Rakhi has thrown Abhishek out of her Lokhandwala apartment and called him the biggest mistake of her life.

The two, it seems have not been getting along for a while now and after a month of depression Rakhi has decided to make their breakup public.

Rakhi proclaims that she is single now and is on the prowl for Mr. Right. She says she has reached a point where she would like to settle down and start a family of her own. Abhishek had not been too keen on tying the knot.

Rakhi says the reason for the split is that Abhishek used her to further his career.

Truth of the matter is Rakhi proposed and Abhishek said ‘NO!”

Subhash Ghai wanted Salman to sport a really different look for the film Yuvvraaj. He pondered over various ideas but the much awaited inspiration struck on the first day of shooting in Austria. He  wanted Salman to dye his hair blonde to do justice to his character in Yuvvraaj.

Salman, flat out refused to go blonde. Subhash on the other hand would not give up.

The next day, Salman didn’t show up for a good 2 hours of the shoot. Subhash feared he had pissed of the almighty and wondered who would be a suitable last minute replacement. A few minutes later, a smiling blonde Salman walked into the set, much to Subhash’s delight.

Guess you can pay Salman enough to do just about anything!

Kareena Kapoor is all set to pack her bags and head to the Alps for what she thinks is a well deserved vacation this December. Right, after toiling so hard during the shooting of your next illegal ankle-hold of a performance in 3 Idiots, you had this coming.

Now here’s the fun part. As if three months in Ladakh weren’t enough, she’s heading off to the Alps right after. What kind of dumbass does that? You don’t go from freezing cold to freezing cold!! What’s the hell’s the fun in that? Dig out your imagination from that Toni & Guy bathroom pack you have for a cerebrum for once and choose a better destination to be holidaying in after 120 days of ice-blue landscape.

In other news, Kareena will be missing out on a lot of opportunities to make money in December. Apparently, people are lining up to have her dancing at their weddings! You’d think she’d turn such embarrasing offers down point blank but no, you’d be wrong. The only reason she doesn’t perform at these functions is because her parents oppose it. I guess the same parental lock keeps her off the Midnight Queen stage on a Friday night.

Katrina Kaif is so impressed with Kabir Lal’s cinematography in the movie Yuvvraaj , that she is going to gift him a car.

The two have previously worked together in a movie called Apne where they did not get along at all. Katrina even requested Subhash Ghai to get someone else in his place. However, as the shooting progressed Katrina realized that Kabir’s work was impressive and that he was able to capture her beauty in every frame.

So after she saw the promos, she specially mentioned Kabir’s good work to Subhash Ghai.

Kabir, in the meanwhile in waiting for the car she promised. Guess this generousness has rubbed off from Salman who is famous for gifting a Rolex to every Tom, Dick and Harry.